A helping hand for a masculine man

A few years ago I had a male friend who i have always known to be quite masculine and macho that was having a hard time. He was having issues in his love life. He had been dating the same girl for a long time and had never really dated much before her. He was getting to a point where he was wondering what else was out there. He ended the relationship to live as a young single guy for a while. But only a few months later he found himself missing his girlfriend terribly. He tried to get her back, but she was not having it. She was mad at him for leaving her and had started dating someone else. He did not know what to do, so I suggested that he see a counselor because i had never seen him so emotionally upset before. I did not think this was something that he would do, because he always acts like a very stereotypical man's man, and therapy is typically looked at as something that manly men don't need to do. Surprisingly enough he did go to a counselor and worked out some of his issues and was able to win back his girlfriend. I think that going to therapy and reaching out for help in his life was a big part of why she took him back, because doing so showed that he was willing to really work on problems and go out of his comfort zone to do it.

In the chapter we read this week in Gauntlett, "Men's magazines and Modern Masculinities" the author talked about the content of modern men's lifestyle magazines. One of the sections the author talked about was "Men need help", where the author identified the types of advice content in modern men's lifestyle magazines. The author stated "men are advised on relationships... how to avoid alcoholism.... choose the ideal suit, massage a woman's foot and/or be a good father" (Gauntlett 172). I think that the idea that to be masculine means that you never need help or advice for anything is an idea that is less prevalent. I think this is a good thing because everyone needs help and advice for many aspects of life because life it hard! I think that it is better for society overall that it is more accepted for men to seek help for questions they have about how to be a good father, or a good partner, or anything else.

I wonder if males still feel that it is less acceptable to ask for the advice of others for social and emotional problems in their lives? I do not think there was ever as big of a deal for a guy to ask his friend's opinion about what brand of oil to put in their car, or something more technical like that, but talking about social and emotional problems has been seen as taboo for men in the past.