Not a binary

When I was young I was what some people would have called a tom-boy. I was more interested in building a fort in the woods with my guy friends than playing dress up with my girl friends. My dad taught me how to throw a football and baseball, swing a golf club, and play poker. While my mom tried to get me into doing arts and crafts with her, and I was much less receptive to that. The type of activities that girls liked I found to be too sedate and boring. It seemed like guys got to have all the fun and action. It was for this reason that when I was little I sometimes wished that I had been born a boy. Although I had never been one for foo foo dresses and heels, I never tried to come off as uber masculine either. I liked jewelry, pretty decorations, relaxed feminine clothes, the colors pink and purple, and other girl things. So I sometimes felt stuck in the middle as a child. I did not want to be super delicate, reserved, and domesticated like I felt were the expectations of being a girl, but I did not was to be quite as ruff and wild as I thought were the expectations for boys.

The chapter on Queer Theory and Fluid Identities reaffirmed what I had learned and accepted about my perception of gender. The text states "The binary divide between masculinity and femininity is a social construction built on the binary divide between men and women - which is also a social construction" (Gauntlett 147).  This is how I look at my gender identity now that I am older. I do not feel out of place because I do not identify as a girly girl, or as a tom-boy. I feel that I am somewhere in between. Though now that I am older I do feel more feminine than I did when I was younger, I will never be a girly girl. I would rather wear jeans, a tee shirt, and skate shoes rather than a dress and high heels any day. But that doesn't mean that I can't polish up a little bit with some jewelry or a cute purse.

I wonder if some people feel the same way that I do about "doing gender" but have the idea that you have to present yourself as one way or the other that they just perform one end of the gender binary?

An artist that came to my mind when thinking about this topic was Pink. I feel like she is a good representation of how I feel about balancing masculinity and femininity in a way that works for you. She can dress up or be casual, have platinum blond or pink hair, but she is always inked and fierce.